We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
