3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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