their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
