He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
