I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
