real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
