i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
