I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
