the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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