Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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