the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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