you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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