I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
