got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
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It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
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We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize