thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
