so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
