i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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