Don't make out with my wife yet
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
