I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
