I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
