love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
