Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
