so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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