I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my phone needs a breathalizer
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
my liver is dry heaving
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
