I hate your face
I smell stomach acid.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i think i have two assholes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
