omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize