What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
