A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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