maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
