She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
