I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
