Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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