the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.