Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.