this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
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Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
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I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP