I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
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He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel