Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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