Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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