Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize