do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well I just put wine in my tea
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
