Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
