Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We left the knife in your bed.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
