Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
