Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Can Purell be used as lube?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
