Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize