Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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