is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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