her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
