I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
