Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
