Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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