drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
