You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You have to summon your inner elephant
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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