I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
