She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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