oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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