i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
