Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
