who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
