I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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