Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
