I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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