seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize