YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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